Everything You Need to Know About They/Them/Theirs Pronouns

Q: Is using singular 'they' grammatically correct?

Yes, singular 'they' has been recognized as grammatically correct by linguists, dictionaries, and major style guides like the AP and Chicago Manual of Style.

Q: Why do people use they/them pronouns?

People use 'they/them' pronouns to express their non-binary or gender-neutral identity, or in situations where their gender is unknown or irrelevant.

What Are They/Them/Theirs Pronouns?

They/them/theirs are gender-neutral pronouns that can refer to a single person or multiple individuals. Traditionally, these pronouns have been used in English to refer to groups, but they are now widely recognized for their use in referring to individuals who identify outside the binary genders of male and female, such as non-binary, genderqueer, and genderfluid people.

The singular "they" allows speakers and writers to refer to someone whose gender is unknown, irrelevant, or non-binary, avoiding the use of gendered pronouns like "he" or "she."

Examples of Usage:

They went to the store.
I met with them yesterday.
This book is theirs.

Why Are They/Them/Theirs Pronouns Important?

Using "they/them/theirs" pronouns is a crucial aspect of gender inclusivity and respect. When individuals share their pronouns, especially non-binary individuals, they are expressing their identity and how they wish to be referred to. Misgendering someone by using incorrect pronouns can be harmful and invalidating.

The use of gender-neutral pronouns helps create a more inclusive environment for those who do not fit within the traditional binary understanding of gender. It supports gender equality by recognizing the diversity of gender identities beyond male and female.

The History of They/Them/Theirs Pronouns

Early Use of Singular "They"

The singular use of "they" has been a part of the English language for centuries. The earliest recorded use dates back to the late 14th century in works such as Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales. At that time, "they" was used to refer to individuals in a way that was not gender-specific, particularly when the gender of a person was unknown.

For example: "And whoso fyndeth hym out of swich blame, / They wol come up…"

This usage was common across English literature, including in the works of Shakespeare and Jane Austen.

Modern Recognition of Singular "They"

The resurgence of "they" as a gender-neutral pronoun gained momentum in the 20th century with the rise of feminist and LGBTQ+ movements, advocating for more inclusive language. In 2019, the singular "they" was named Word of the Year by Merriam-Webster, reflecting its widespread usage and acceptance in modern society. Today, it is used in both formal and informal contexts and is recognized by major style guides like the Associated Press (AP) and Chicago Manual of Style.

Legal and Institutional Recognition

In recent years, many institutions have adopted policies to recognize "they/them/theirs" pronouns officially. For example:

Oxford University began encouraging students and staff to use "they" in 2016 to respect individuals' gender identities.
Merriam-Webster added the singular "they" as an official entry in its dictionary, acknowledging it as a valid pronoun for non-binary people.

How to Use They/Them/Theirs Pronouns Correctly

Using "they/them/theirs" pronouns correctly is straightforward. Just as you would use "he/him/his" or "she/her/hers," simply substitute with "they/them/theirs" when referring to someone who uses these pronouns.

Subject Form:

They are going to the meeting.

Object Form:

I spoke with them about the project.

Possessive Form:

That book is theirs.

Reflexive Form:

They introduced themselves at the event.

It’s important to remember that using "they" in the singular does not alter its grammatical correctness. This has been a point of contention for some critics, but English has long adapted to the singular use of "they."

Why Singular They Is Grammatically Correct

English has a long history of evolving and adapting to meet the needs of its speakers. Linguists recognize the singular "they" as grammatically sound because it fills a gap in English—there is no other widely accepted, gender-neutral third-person pronoun. The use of "they" in singular form is natural for most speakers when they encounter an unknown or non-binary subject.

For example:

"Someone left their umbrella here. I hope they come back to get it."

In this sentence, "they" is singular, yet it sounds correct and is grammatically acceptable.

Addressing Common Misconceptions

Misconception 1: Singular "They" Is a New Concept

While some believe the use of singular "they" is a modern linguistic invention, its history stretches back over 600 years. Its re-emergence today is more of a revival than a new trend.

Misconception 2: Singular "They" Causes Confusion

Some argue that using "they" for an individual creates confusion because it traditionally refers to multiple people. However, context almost always clarifies the meaning. In speech and writing, it’s rare to encounter real confusion between singular and plural "they."

Pronouns and Inclusivity in Modern Society

In contemporary society, recognizing and respecting people’s pronouns is part of building inclusive communities. Many workplaces, schools, and social groups now encourage individuals to share their pronouns in introductions, email signatures, and social media profiles. This simple practice promotes understanding and helps prevent misgendering.

Why Sharing Pronouns Matters

By sharing pronouns, even for those who identify within the gender binary, people can normalize the practice of asking for and using correct pronouns. This can be particularly helpful for non-binary and transgender individuals who are frequently misgendered.

FAQs About They/Them Pronouns

1. Is using singular "they" grammatically correct?

Yes, singular "they" has been recognized as grammatically correct by linguists, dictionaries, and major style guides like the AP and Chicago Manual of Style.

2. Why do people use they/them pronouns?

People use "they/them" pronouns to express their non-binary or gender-neutral identity, or in situations where their gender is unknown or irrelevant.

3. How can I remember to use they/them pronouns correctly?

Practice is key. When in doubt, refer to someone by their name until you are confident in using their pronouns. Mistakes happen, but effort and correction show respect.

4. Is it okay to ask someone their pronouns?

Yes! Politely asking for someone's pronouns shows respect for their identity and helps avoid misgendering.

Conclusion: The Importance of They/Them/Theirs Pronouns

"They/them/theirs" pronouns play a critical role in fostering gender inclusivity and equality. Their historical use, grammatical correctness, and widespread acceptance highlight their importance in modern language. By embracing the use of gender-neutral pronouns, we move toward a society that respects and affirms the identities of all individuals.