How can I learn to use neo-pronouns?

Practice using neo-pronouns in sentences and stay open-minded. It helps to ask someone their pronouns if you’re unsure and remember them respectfully.

Everything You Need to Know About Neo-Pronouns

Q: What are neo-pronouns?

Neo-pronouns are new, non-traditional pronouns like xe/xem or ze/zir, used by some people to reflect their gender identity.

Q: Why do people use neo-pronouns?

Neo-pronouns help people express their identity more authentically, particularly those who feel traditional pronouns do not fit them.

Neopronouns (or neo-pronouns) are a growing topic of interest, especially as more people explore different ways to express their identity. If you’re new to the idea of neopronouns or just curious to learn more, this guide will help break it down in a simple, easy-to-understand way.

What Are Neopronouns?

In simple terms, neopronouns are any pronouns other than “he,” “she,” or “they.” They’re used as an alternative to traditional pronouns and often serve as a way for people to express their identity, especially if they feel that traditional pronouns don’t quite fit them.

Some examples of neopronouns include:

ze/zir/zirs
xe/xem/xyr
thon/thonself

These pronouns might seem unfamiliar at first, but they work just like any other pronoun in a sentence.

Why Do People Use Neopronouns?

People choose to use neopronouns for a variety of reasons, including:

Avoiding Confusion: Some people prefer neopronouns to avoid confusion with “they/them,” which is commonly used both as a singular and plural pronoun.
Expressing Identity: For people who identify with genders outside the male-female binary (like xenogenders), neopronouns can better reflect how they see themselves.
Comfort: Some simply feel more comfortable with neopronouns because they don’t connect to traditional gender expectations.

Remember, pronouns don’t always equal gender identity. A non-binary person might still use “he/him,” while a genderfluid person might go by “they/she.” It’s all about personal choice and comfort.

Are Neopronouns New?

While neopronouns might seem like a modern trend, they’ve actually been around for quite a while. For example, one of the oldest recorded neopronouns is “thon” (short for “that one”), created in 1858 by American composer Charles Crosby Converse. Though not widely used today, it shows that creating new pronouns is not a new concept.

How to Use Neopronouns

Using neopronouns is similar to using any other pronoun. Let’s take a look at a sentence example using the neopronoun ze/zir:

“This is Alex. Ze left zir coat at the café, so I’m holding onto it for zir.”

Some people may use multiple neopronouns and alternate between them. For example, someone might use bee/it/they pronouns like this:

“This is Alex. Bee thinks it left its jacket at the party, so they are going back to look for it.”

It’s important to respect how someone wants to be referred to, and practice will help you get used to using neopronouns correctly.

Neopronouns and Language

A common argument against neopronouns is that they’re not part of the English language. But just like how new words (like “emoji”) have been added to our vocabulary over time, language is constantly evolving. Neopronouns are a valid part of this evolution. People have been creating new pronouns for centuries, and as society becomes more inclusive, language adapts with it.

What About People Who Don’t Use Pronouns?

Some people prefer not to use pronouns at all. Instead, they might ask you to use their name in place of a pronoun. For example:

“This is Charli’s book. Charli left it at the park.”

The Key Takeaways

Neopronouns are any pronouns outside of he/she/they, and they help people express their identity in ways that feel right for them.
Pronouns don’t define gender. Anyone can use any pronouns they feel comfortable with.
Neopronouns have been around for over 200 years and are a valid part of the English language.
Respecting someone’s chosen pronouns is important, whether they use traditional pronouns, neopronouns, or no pronouns at all.

If you’re ever unsure about someone’s pronouns, the best thing to do is ask! It’s a small but meaningful way to show respect.

Do People Use More Than One Set of Pronouns?

Absolutely! Some people might use multiple sets, like “xe/xem” and “she/her.” It’s always best to ask if there’s a preferred set or if they’re cool with you mixing it up. It’s all about finding what feels right and supporting people as they explore their identity.

Why Are Neopronouns a Big Deal?

Gender isn’t just about “man” or “woman”—for a lot of non-binary folks, it’s more complex. Maybe they feel in-between, maybe they fluctuate, or maybe they feel totally outside of these traditional categories. Neopronouns give people the freedom to identify in a way that feels authentic.

Research shows that using someone’s correct pronouns can improve mental health and reduce feelings of dysphoria. And supporting people in using their pronouns is a powerful way to show respect and validation.

Neopronouns in History: Not as New as You Think!

The singular “they” has been around since the 1300s, and people have been inventing new pronouns for centuries! Pronouns like “thon” (short for “that one”) appeared in the 1800s, and “e/em/eir” popped up in the 1970s. Fast forward to the Tumblr era, and neopronouns were back in the spotlight, with LGBTQ+ youth sharing and creating all kinds of ways to express their gender.

Neopronouns Across Languages

Some languages already have gender-neutral pronouns built in. In Tagalog, “siya” works for any gender. In Swedish, “hen” has become a go-to for gender-neutral pronouns, while Spanish speakers sometimes use “Latinx” or “Latine” to keep things gender-neutral.

How to Support People Who Use Neopronouns

Share Your Pronouns First: Normalize sharing pronouns. Start by saying, “Hey, I’m Charli, and I go by they/them,” so the other person feels comfy sharing theirs.
Practice Neopronouns—Even When They Aren’t Around: It can feel different at first, but practicing helps! And using someone’s pronouns, even in conversations when they’re not there, shows respect and helps reinforce it for yourself.
Correct Yourself if You Slip Up: Mistakes happen. If you use the wrong pronoun, just apologize, correct yourself, and move on. No need to make it a big deal.
Help Others Get It Right Too: If someone else slips up or misgenders your friend, a gentle nudge can be super helpful. You’re showing that using the correct pronouns is important to you.
Respect Privacy: Not everyone’s ready to share their pronouns with everyone, especially if they’re still exploring their gender or aren’t out to everyone. So if you’re unsure, ask privately.
Be Patient: Some people try out different pronouns until they find what fits. Support them without getting frustrated—it’s all about creating a safe space while they figure it out.

FAQs on Neopronouns

Can anyone use neopronouns?: Yes! Neopronouns aren’t exclusive to non-binary people. Anyone can use them if they feel it fits their identity.
How do I ask for pronouns?: Just offer your own first! For example, “Hey, I’m Sam, and I use he/him and they/them pronouns. How about you?”
Are neopronouns just a Gen Z trend?: Nope! Gender-neutral pronouns have been around for ages. And as more people get comfortable exploring gender, neopronouns are finding their way into everyday conversations.

Bottom Line

As the world embraces a broader spectrum of gender identities, neopronouns are here to help folks express who they are. Respecting and using someone’s pronouns shows them that you see them, support them, and want them to feel comfortable in their own skin.

Neopronouns Glossary

Neopronouns: Any pronouns outside of the traditional "he," "she," or "they," used by individuals who feel these better reflect their identity.
Ze/Zir: A set of neopronouns commonly used by some people in place of "he" or "she" and "his" or "her." Example: "Ze went to the store. I saw zir there."
Xe/Xem: A set of neopronouns used as an alternative to "he," "she," or "they." Example: "Xe loves ice cream. I gave it to xem."
Thon/Thonself: An older neopronoun created in the 19th century, short for "that one." Example: "Thon went to the park by thonself."
They/Them: A singular gender-neutral pronoun used by people who don't identify strictly as male or female. Example: "They went to the store."
Gender-neutral pronouns: Pronouns that don't specify a gender, often used by non-binary or gender-nonconforming individuals. Example: "They," "ze," and "xe."
Binary Pronouns: Pronouns associated with the male-female gender binary, specifically "he" and "she."
Xenogender: A gender identity that falls outside of the traditional binary or spectrum of male and female. Xenogender people may use neopronouns to express their identity.
Misgendering: Referring to someone using the wrong pronouns or gendered language that doesn't align with their identity.